Letting go, or at least stepping back.

So, this is gonna seen vague, but it's more of a, get- it- off- your- chest type thing without having little meaning to anyone else.
Sometimes you hold on to something a little to tight, and a little too much. It's not till you make yourself step back and really look at something that you see it, and when you do its hard to ignore.

On to something totally unrelated. I am a helper, always was. I am here for the people that matter to me. Its not draining, it's not an inconvenience, it's not a burden it's not any of those things. It's just who I am. Maybe to much for my own good, maybe I need to care a little less, and focus on other things. Maybe I am too nice? Maybe I need to get mad and angry more. Maybe I need to be an asshole more. It seems like being nice makes no difference sometimes. These are just observations, I am not saying it's the right way to act or think.

I had a bad eating day yesterday for the first time since January 2. I guess it's justified, me being in the hospital with my little girl, and being up all night takes its toll, and at 8 that morning I needed food. I had a bran muffin that weighed what a small brick would, I am sure it was filled with oil, and white flour, but really needed food, so I ate it. I am not in no way tearing myself up for it. I was hungry and I ate something, and sometimes you just have no choice. Maybe the Cinnamon Roll would have been better?? Ha Ha. Missed my workout yesterday as well, but back on schedule today with my normal routine, and it feels really good.

That's it for now, world.

CHD - Nfldman